


A Message in a Bottle

by BalloonBalls



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Comfort, DDD hasn't happened yet, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Not really a romantic relationship but you can tell they kinda want to date, Set after KH 2, emotional meltdown, everyone is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 04:46:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13733445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BalloonBalls/pseuds/BalloonBalls
Summary: Bottling up feelings is never the answer, they fill and fill until it finally bursts and the person can't control themselves anymore. Sora and Riku both have things to say, but never really want to.





	A Message in a Bottle

When the word prison comes to mind, usually people think of the prison cells that criminals end up in. No one needs to be a criminal to be inside a prison, and no prison needs to be tangible either. For some, it's a relationship they don't want to be apart of. For others it's their three a.m thoughts. A prison is a trap, something that binds the prisoner to one spot and never lets them leave whatever it is they want to leave. 

Riku's prison has changed over the years. When he was young and naive, his prison was the blue ocean waves that brushed against the shoreline with it's seaweed and seashells that bound together thlassa charms. It was soft sways of palm trees that held star shaped destiny fruits, and yellow coconuts that were always better than the brown ones but rarer. It was races in the hot sun against his friends during the summer, and sword fights to compete for pretty stones. 

It was familiarity, his prison. Everything was the same for him, this small little island town that he had called his home for years. He was desperate for his escape, so he found one even if it was a terrible idea. He thought he had escaped his prison and in a sense, he did escape. This tangible prison of his stopped being a prison and became a safety blanket he wanted to go back to. He had made some dumb mistakes, he knew. He knew by the time it was too late and his actions weren't his own anymore. He had lost himself completely, and that was where he found a prison much worse than a sunny island. Riku likes to call his new prison regret. 

If anything, it can take multiple forms or multiple names. Regret, sadness, fear, anger, hopelessness, and many more. It wasn't tangible either, it wasn't like he could just get on a plane and leave. He couldn't escape himself, his past, his pain, his worst nightmares. It was all inside of him, and wherever he went he had to take this prison with him. He could never escape the worst mistakes of his life. 

He tried to escape, he really did. His parents were so happy to see him, and they tried to help him escape too. When he had gotten home, they knew he wasn't the same boy as he was when he left. They took him everywhere, to therapists, to psychiatrists. He went to therapy three times a week when he came home, his parents were afraid he had gotten abducted or something. How could Riku ever explain to his family what had happened to him when he was gone? 

His psychiatrist prescribed him with who knows how many medications. Anti-depressants, anxiety medications, sleeping medications, and so on. They worked, but he wanted to face his own inner demons without medicine. He couldn't have just taken medicine to get rid of the darkness that took over his body, so he can't take it now either. He stopped seeing his doctors and kept bottling everything up inside of himself like he was used to. When his body was taken by the darkness he didn't let anyone help him, and that's what he intended on doing now. However, that ended up being easier said than done.  

Sora and Kairi sensed the changes in Riku. He was less abrasive and rude like he used to be, but now stand-offish and desolate. He was never as involved as he used to be with the two of them. Riku just didn't want to get involved though, fearing he'll get jealous again and mess things up for the two of them. He would make sure that he wouldn't make the same mistakes as before, even if it meant he was slowly fading out of the picture. 

He stood there now, his eyes to the waves and back to the familiar tree. He could see the entire world he lived in beyond those waves and more. He was in love with the sight and the peace that came with it. The sun had already gone down by now and the stars littered the sky. All those stars were the worlds that Sora had saved. Riku did not make that task easier on Sora one year ago, if anything he made it harder on him. 

Oh Sora, how Riku selfishly wished for him. Riku wanted to be like him, wanted to be free. Sora never had any prison holding him captive, but Riku always had one. He always held his head high and filled his mind with happy thoughts. Sora was kind, and strong, and...happy. However there is still so much that Sora doesn't even know about, so many things about Riku he was oblivious to. 

If anything, the lengths Riku went for Sora was extremely laughable. He did so many awful things all for the sake of that one chestnut haired boy. He lost everything for that boy, his mind, his body, his heart. He even caused an extremely powerful nobody to suffer tremendously, only to fade away all because of Riku. That nobody truly had a heart, and everyone knew that from the start. Even if that nobody was the cause of his best friend being unable to wake, he still was fond of him. 

That boy that acted nothing like his somebody. Blonde spiky hair and dark blue eyes accompanied with a loud attitude to compensate for his emotional vulnerability. Riku is the reason why that boy suffered so much, why he lost everything. He ruined everything for that nobody, all for the sake of one boy. Riku gave his body up for a second time just to be able to defeat the nobody then threw him into a data world to spend his last six days preparing for his disappearance. Riku did that, Riku caused him to fade. It was Riku's actions that made that nobody fade away. 

Then after that came his best friend. That spiky haired redhead that clung to that nobody like his protector. In some ways, the redhead almost reminded Riku of himself. He was a man who was trying to bring back his best friend, no matter what the cost was. That redhead lost everything the day Riku had defeated the one person who mattered to him. Ultimately he faded away too, he sacrificed himself just so the boy that held his best friend stayed safe. Riku, to this day, still felt pretty awful about it all. He ruined a friendship that mirrored his own, and caused them both to...pass. It's insane what some person, what one person, could make another do just with a smile or a laugh. Riku didn't deserve any of it, any of the compassion that his best friend has. That's what he thought. 

"Riku." A familiar voice called out to him. Riku turned his neck to be able to look behind him, seeing the very best friend he was just thinking about. Sora was approaching the tree Riku was leaning back on, so Riku turned his neck back to normal and waited for Sora to sit in his usual spot. Sora did as he predicted, hopping onto the oddly shaped tree and sitting on it. 

"Your mom is going to kill you if she finds out you're out this late." Sora said, staring out into the calming waves. "Yeah, I figured." Riku said, not so much as glancing at Sora. "I knew I'd find you here though." Sora said. "You were looking for me?" Riku asked, now feeling the need to look up at Sora but he didn't. "Yeah, I didn't see you at all day today at this island so I figured you were at home. I just wanted to check up on you to see if you were okay." Sora answered, now looking down at Riku. "Oh, I got here about, maybe, an hour ago?" Riku asked, now looking up at Sora to meet his gaze. 

"Mmm." Sora hummed quietly, turning his gaze away from Riku and back to the waters. Riku let his eyes linger on Sora for a while, it's not often he gets to see Sora looking so relaxed and quiet. "Hey, Riku, if anything is bothering you, you can talk to me." Sora said, his eyes unwavering. Riku blinked in confusion at Sora's abrupt sentiment. "What do you mean?" Riku asked. "We used to hang out everyday, Riku. When I came back to the islands with you I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I knew they wouldn't completely be normal but I at least expected to be able to make up for lost time over the year." Sora said, looking down at Riku. 

"Oh." Riku said in an unenthusiastic tone. "Do you want to talk about it?" Sora asked, and Riku couldn't help but laugh quietly under his breath. Sora didn't seem phased by it, his eyes stayed patient. "Talk about what?" Riku asked, a small smile on his face. "Your feelings. Whatever is keeping you all quiet and upset." Sora said with a compassionate tone in his voice that made Riku relax just a little. "I'm alright, just taking in the fact that we're finally home again." Riku said. 

"Somehow, I'm not buying that." Sora responded, sliding off his seat and landing softly on the ground. Riku turned to look at Sora with confusion, but Sora just started to walk past Riku. "Come with me." Sora said, beckoning Riku to follow behind him. All of this felt so familiar, this chestnut haired boy had him tied up like a puppet on strings. Whatever Sora wanted him to do, Riku would comply. Everything Riku did was for Sora's sake, he was a person that Sora could use and throw away if he wanted. Riku was dependent on Sora, and clung to him like tape. Luckily, Sora isn't the type to abuse that power. 

Riku followed behind Sora, and the two of them started to make their way, walking on that the little wooden bridge. "Where are we going?" Riku asked, keeping his eyes on Sora's bouncing spikes that just enamored him. "The secret place, that's where all of our secrets go. Right?" Sora asked, not turning back to see Riku. Riku didn't answer, he didn't feel the need to. 

"The sky is as dark as it was when the world was taken over by darkness." Riku said quietly, more to himself than anything. Sora turned back to look at him, giving him a concerned look but didn't really say anything. He turned back around after keeping his eyes on Riku for a few seconds and kept walking. Riku didn't really know why Sora gave him such a...weird look. Sora's given him that look before, but only when he's really worried about him. Riku could feel his heart sink just a little bit at the last time Sora gave him that look. 

It wasn't long until the two of them got to the aforementioned secret place. The two of them had walked together in silence, and Riku was getting kind of nervous as the two of them descended deeper and deeper into the cave. Once they got to the end, Riku was hit with a wave of nostalgia. All the cute little drawings he drew as a kid with Sora and Kairi made him feel all fuzzy on the inside. Back to the days when he wasn't a prisoner, when he was just as free as Sora. 

"So, what are you thinking?" Sora asked Riku, turning to face him. "Well, I'm feeling pretty nostalgic." Riku admitted with a shrug. "Yeah, I am too. This was where everything started, huh. When the door opened." Sora asked, walking over to said door and placing his fingertips on it. "I'm sorry." Riku said, and Sora turned to face him. "For what?" Sora asked. "For everything. For what I did. I always wanted to apologize for my past mistakes, but I've never really had the chance to." Riku said, and Sora smiled sadly.

"C'mon Riku. You don't need to live in the past anymore, you have us! Your friends!" Sora said, knowing full well that those words really wouldn't convince Riku at all. Riku smiled though, he appreciated the thought. "It's hard not to though. I messed everything up, I ruined everything. I hurt so many people, did so many terrible things. All for the sake of..." Riku said, then paused. He couldn't bring himself to finish his own sentence. "Of?" Sora asked, walking closer to Riku so the conversation could feel more personal. 

"You." Riku said with a small laugh, a small and hopeless laugh. "Me? I can take care of myself you know. You don't need to do anything for me." Sora said with a sparkle in his blue eyes. "I know that, but still. I saw you there in that pod, sleeping so peacefully like nothing was wrong even though everything was wrong. I couldn't help but...believe it was my fault." Riku said, finding it difficult to keep eye contact. "Riku, even if it was your fault I wouldn't know. I don't even remember how I got there in the first place, but that doesn't matter now." Sora said, placing a hand on Riku's shoulder for support. 

"I just wish I was..." Riku found himself choking up, a lump forming in his throat. Was he seriously about to cry? "Whatever you say you wish you were will never compare to who you are now. I don't want you to be anybody or anything else expect for you, Riku." Sora said, squeezing Riku's shoulder. Riku could feel his heart crumbling and his brain was going foggy. Here he was about to lose his mind and the one person who he just wants to be there for is stuck having to listen to his stupid emotions. What an awful friend Riku was. 

Sora could see something shift in Riku's eyes, something like sadness forming accompanied with teardrops. "I gave into the darkness for you. I did everything I did for you and still I hurt you. What's even the point when I can't even protect the one person who matters?" Riku asked, making sure Sora couldn't see his face anymore. "Riku, you've done more than you even think. Without you, I would've never have gotten to Xemnas and without you I wouldn't have been able to beat Xemnas. Without you I wouldn't be as happy as I am now with you here. You're my best friend too, you know. You mean a lot to me as well." Sora said, keeping his eyes on Riku's silver locks of hair. 

Riku made sure to keep wiping his face, he wouldn't let himself cry. There's no way in hell he'd ever let himself cry like this. Sora wrapped his arms around Riku's waist from behind and snuggled his head into Riku's back. Riku jumped at the sudden touch, some part of him feared it may have been something attacking him like a heartless. Heartless are never as warm as Sora's arms around him though. It's funny, when Riku was younger he would've shoved Sora away from him because he hated sentiment and any feeling that wasn't angsty teenage rebellion. Now he doesn't mind too much. 

"You're not alone in your sadness either. I didn't want to say anything because...I thought I could handle it alone. I'm...pretty scared too. I'm afraid that someday I'll wake up and everything would have been a dream. I constantly get nightmares about your parents grieving over the fact that you never came home, that you lost your body forever and could never leave the realm of darkness. That's why I need to see you everyday, I need to make sure you are here with me everyday and that you'll never go away again." Sora said quietly, tightening his grip around Riku's waist. 

Riku was...shocked. He had no idea he meant that much to Sora, hell he didn't even realize that Sora was in any form of pain at all. Riku caused Sora this much pain, this much strife. It felt so...familiar to Riku, the pain that Sora feels. Sora's in his own prison too, a prison that Riku caused. "I'm sorry I'm hurting you so much." Riku mumbled, looking down at the arms around his body. He wanted to break free from the arms that wrapped around his body, he didn't want Sora to feel as trapped in his own mind as he did. 

Sora let go of Riku and let his arms fall by his own sides, staying quiet for a brief moment. "Riku...don't you get it?!" Sora shouted, and Riku immediately swung around to face Sora. He's never seen Sora shout at all, and just looking at him made Riku feel so...guilty. Sora's fists were clenched and his eyes started to water like Riku's were. "Don't you understand? I care about you and I just want you to stay by me forever! We all make mistakes, but don't beat yourself up for them forever! I hate seeing you this sad, I just wish I could make you feel better but nothing I say is working! I searched far and wide for you for over a year and I finally found you, so don't apologize! Just don't ever go away again!" Sora spluttered, tears were rolling down his cheeks. 

Riku saw Sora cry once before when Sora held his hand and was on his knees because he was so happy about Riku's return. He had seen Sora cry before that, but it was over smaller things that didn't really mean much like when he randomly cried as the two of them watched the stars together when they were five. "I'll always stand by your side, so cheer up. Okay?" Riku said quietly, trying his best to make Sora feel just a little better. "Right-Sorry...I've just been worried or afraid you'll disappear." Sora said quietly, wiping at the one or two tears that escaped from his little outburst. Sora usually never stayed sad for long and always pulled himself up pretty quickly which was good for Riku's sake.

Riku was never the best at comforting people, it always made him feel uncomfortable. He wanted to try his best though, for Sora's sake. He stepped closer to Sora and wrapped him in a tight embrace. He never was much of a hugger and neither was Sora, but the moment just felt right. Sora wrapped his arms around Riku too, pulling him closer. He laid his head on Riku's chest, taking in the warmth and scent of Riku. How did it become Riku comforting Sora rather than Sora comforting Riku? Well, it didn't upset Riku at all. If anything helping Sora is the most therapeutic thing he could do.

"Riku...what are you so afraid of? Ever since you came back you don't talk like you used to, don't joke around as much. You've become so serious, what changed?" Sora asked, looking up at Riku but still holding onto him. "I...can't really describe it. I have so much guilt for what I did that I don't even believe I should be your friend anymore. I'm constantly afraid of hurting you so I try to stay as far away as possible. I accepted a long time ago that me and you were never meant to stay together forever. I believed we were never ones who could share a poapu fruit, and once I gave into the darkness I was convinced everything was over between us. My feelings toward you is what drove me to what I did which ultimately hurt you." Riku admitted. 

"So you think that your emotions only hurt me? You think that because you care about me that it makes you do dumb things?" Sora asked, his voice shaky. Riku hated seeing Sora like this, in so much emotional turmoil. He also hated how right Sora was about Riku's feelings, and how bluntly he put it. "...Yeah." Riku quietly admitted. Sora was his entire world, he would do anything for Sora. Even if it meant he had to disappear, whatever it would take to make Sora happy. Sora stepped away from Riku, letting go of him. Riku did the same, meeting Sora's now stern gaze that could almost be intimidating if it weren't for how much shorter he was compared to Riku. 

"Riku, we were kids. We still are, but not really. We made dumb mistakes, both of us did. I ignored you because I wanted Kairi to like me, and you gave into the darkness. We were stupid, Riku. I know in my heart that you would never make that mistake again. Yeah you lost your body to darkness because you were weak, but that was a year ago! You're so much stronger now, and your heart is too! I know you'd never make that mistake, and we're stronger together rather than apart! That's no secret." Sora stated, sounding confident in his tone. 

His words, they bounced all around Riku's head. He couldn't help but smile at Sora. His enthusiasm, his happiness, it really helps. Sora, does he even realize what he does to Riku's heart? "Thanks, Sora. I promise you that even if a huge part of me thinks that all I do is hurt you, I'll try my best to remember what you told me." Riku said, and Sora just grinned his signature goofy grin that Riku has grown to love oh-so much. "Thanks, Riku. Now c'mon, let's go. It's getting pretty late." Sora said, and Riku nodded. 

"Yeah, you're gonna look amazing all snot-nosed like that." Riku teased, and Sora scowled. "Oh okay, sorry that I actually can cry!" Sora said, which caused Riku to laugh. Sora smiled too, his old Riku was still there. Really his old Riku had never really left, just was trapped in all the fear that the past created for him. Moments like these are both of their favorites, when they're this close and comfortable with each other. They can laugh together and they can cry together comfortably. 

The two of them left the secret place together, walking side by side. This is how things should be, the two of them together at last. No matter how many mistakes they make, or how many hurdles life throws at them. They're the bestest of friends, and nothing was going to change that.


End file.
